Proof Florida is seriously warped:
Here in Miami, Iguanas affected by the recent cold temperature, "froze up" and fell out of trees. Now really big lizards in suspended animation falling to the ground is the sort of potentially traumatizing sight Floridians are used to. And some of us are apparently responsible for them being here in the first place, since unwanted/escaped pets are the reason the non-native reptiles live in places like Key Biscayne. No worries about that from my relatives, my aunts can make a mean iguana soup, though I prefer it barbecued with lemon and worchestire sauce - yes, it does taste like chicken
Miami Santeros have been known to sacrifice the random goat to honor assorted deities, no doubt further inflaming the sensibilities of those who see the magic city as an unasimilated enclave in fair Florida.
But, it takes some backwoods 48 yr old from the northern panhandle of Florida to really show how warped the entire State is.
The offenses, as set out in this article, stealing a pregnant pet goat, having his way with the poor creature, and in serial killer tradition ending the poor creatures life. And apparently, this was an ongoing pattern with said defendant:
[T]he rape and asphyxiation last year of a family pet goat named Meg -- who was pregnant with twins -- in the town of Mossy Head in rural Walton County.
A suspect in the case, a 48-year-old man, is serving an 11-month, 29-day jail sentence on animal-theft charges in connection with the attempted abduction of another goat in a separate case, according to Walton County Assistant State Attorney James Parker.
Parker said he couldn't prosecute the suspect in the death of Meg because DNA samples taken with a sheriff's office rape kit were inconclusive.
Parker said he asked the Florida Department of Law Enforcement last week to retest the evidence.
But even if there's a DNA match, Parker said the suspect could only be charged with misdemeanor trespassing and animal cruelty, a third-degree felony punishable by up to five years in prison.
The Scandaaaaaaaal..has so far earned the censure of our governor and..moved our legislature into action to correct the fact that there is no bestiality statutes. No Alabama jokes please.
After a goat was raped and killed in a Panhandle town, animal activists, police and citizens were almost as shocked to find out that bestiality isn't a crime in Florida.
But it might be soon.
And for those animal rights people (and assorted goat fetishists) here is the text of the legislation.